cinta itu ga harus memiliki

hem, oke mungkin kata2 itu basi banget ya, tapi gue lagi bener2 ngerasain hal itu. Cinta itu dateng tiba2, really unexpected for me that i will fall for him. Dia itu bisa bikin hari2 gue lebih berwarna tiap gue dateng ke sekolah, dengan harapan gue bisa liat mukanya tiap hari. Tapi sekarang gue sadar kalo apa yang dia lakuin buat gue yaa cuma dengan perasaan nganggep gue temen ga lebih, apalagi seperti yang udah gue bilang sebelumnya kalo he will leave me soon, that's for sure aaannnnddd smalem gue sadar kalo dia udah sayang n cinta sama cewek lain, dan kayanya rasa sayang dia itu dalem banget, gue bangga sama dia, he's really gentle u know.

ini kedua kalinya gue pengen ngelupain dia, walaupun ide gue ini selalu dicegah sama temen2 gue ataupun temen2 dia, "coba dulu aja kenapa sih pit", "jujur aja", duh gue gabisa, selain karena gue ini cewek, dan yaa gue itu CHICKEN. lo bisa bandingin antara gue sama adam sandler di film 50 first dates, once he knew that the woman is his true love, dia ngejar cewe itu, gapeduli kalo tuh cewek tiap bangun tidur ingetannya langsung ilang gitu aja, so everyday he should make she loves him over and over again. Sedangkan gue? bilang kalo gue sayang ama dia aja gaberani, bukan apa2 gue takut keberadaan gue ngeganggu dia, makes him feel uncomfortable, pokoknya bikin dia ga nyaman deh, gue malah pengen dia gatau apa yang gue rasain buat dia, gapapa kok gue pendem sendiri yang penting sikap dia ga berubah, dia jadi ga jauhin gue. Walaupun gue yakin cepat atau lambat dia pasti tau, tapi kalo dia udah tau gue mau gausah pikirin gue, gausah pikirin keberadaan gue, berbahagialah :')

If I Should stay I would only be in your way
So I'll go But I know I'll think of you every step of the way
And I... Will always Love you, oohh will always Love you
You My darling you
Bittersweet Memories that is all I'm taking with me
So good-bye please don't cry
We both know I'm not what you,you need
And I... Will always love you I... Will always love you
You, ooh
I hope life treats you kind
And I hope you have all you've dreamed of
And I wish you joy and happiness
But above all this I wish you loved
(i will always love u-whitney houston)

so all these coming days, the days that still remains for me to see him, i will see him from a distance, and still trying so hard to not-to-cry, and then i realized that i can't, so i'll cry with a smile for him. i love him :'), my silly "brother" hahaha hem :')